Am I Convinced of the Love and Goodness of God?
It is a very important question. For me, the question easily could have been "Am I convinced of the love and goodness of my wife, my father, my friends?" My wife and I during a recent argument (which I like to refer to as "passionate discussions") discussed this very issue as it related to us. The honest answer for me was, no I am not 100% convinced of the love anyone says they have for me, not 100% of the time. The reason I say that is that my actions indicate that I am not convinced. I think it is just a moment to moment thing. In a weak moment when I am feeling threatened in some way, or someone sins against me, or inadvertently does something that wrongs me in some way, it is easy to feel unloved. This happens to me all the time. It is a learned behavior. My defenses go up immediately and I try to protect myself by distancing myself from the offender. I assume they do not love me and don't care so I tell myself this person ...