Merry Christmas!

Just a quick post to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  In the midst of the stress of travelling, shopping, partying, and visiting, remember our Savior the Lord Jesus Christ.  Celebrate Him and be blessed!

Accountability

“It is written: ‘As surely as I live’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.’  So then, each one of us will give an account of himself to God.”  (Romans 14:11-12, NIV, CR Bible)

Over the last several weeks, circumstances in my life have caused me to think a lot about accountability.  I have faced many situations recently in which the presence or absence of accountability was a major determining factor in how the situation was settled.  One such occasion happened a couple of weeks ago when due to a professional obligation, I found myself with lots of free time in a place where I used to engage in same-sex sexual activity.  To be honest, I did not even think about it until after I had been there for several hours legitimately carrying out my professional duties.  However, there came a time in the day that I found myself with a two-hour span of time with nothing to do.  That is when the thoughts of my past activities in this place began to play in my mind.  The mental temptations were quite strong and my mind drifted back and forth between thoughts of evil and thoughts of good.  Whenever those thoughts come I try to “…take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ”.  Although controlling my thoughts by focusing on God’s Word and on Jesus Christ was helping, I realized that I needed more help.  I started thinking through my mental list of recovery tools and decided that what I needed to do was call someone.  It’s funny how off my thinking was in that moment because I did not immediately think to call my sponsor.  I called some accountability partners, a couple of Christian brothers in Celebrate Recovery with me, and finally my sponsor.  I managed to reach four people and I asked each of them to do one thing for me: when they saw me in person again, to ask me about the two-hour span of time in which I had nothing to do that day.  Knowing that I was going to be sitting across the table from one of my accountability partners at some point and that he was going to ask me specifically about that day and time, was a huge factor in maintaining my focus on God through the temptations.  The next couple of hours were a struggle, but I made it through by the grace of God.

That was the lesson I was intended to learn that day, that it wasn’t meant for me to travel this road of recovery alone.  I think I have always known that, but putting it into action in such a practical way made it more real for me.  I thank God each day for the accountability He has brought in my life through the many friends I have made in recovery.  But even more importantly, I am striving to live my life in view of a coming day when I will have to be ultimately accountable to my heavenly Father.