"...to accept the things I cannot change..."

All of my life I have been told that if something is not right or if I do not like my circumstances or my situation, change them.  I have come to realize that changing those things and changing people is not as simple as it sounds nor is it even desirable that I try.  I cannot change my wife or her behavior, though I try sometimes or get very frustrated when she does not think or act in a way I think she should.  I try to change the students I teach, to get them to place their education on a higher level of importance and priority.  I also get frustrated when they seemingly reject my efforts to instill within them personal values such as personal responsibility, respect for others, being on time, etc.

With my wife especially, but also with those with whom I serve in ministry and with friends, I sometimes do not take what they say (or what they do not say) at face value, often choosing rather to project in my own mind underlying meanings and motivations to what is spoken.  This is a character flaw that I am working on in my recovery.  It is also a subtle form of control and it really messes with my serenity.

I sponsor several guys in this Celebrate Recovery program and ministry and I have to strongly resist my tendency to want to "fix" them.  I give everything I know to give, and I say everything I feel like God has laid on my heart to say to them, and watching some of the suffer needlessly because of poor choices and lack of belief is hard to take.  I want so badly to change them but I know that God is the only one who can change a heart and He can use me (or not) to whatever extent in that process in their lives.  It is the "or not" part I struggle with sometimes.  Not only is it an attempt to control but it is also very prideful!

I have heard the phrase "let go and let God" most of my life, and in all of the areas I have written about today (there are other areas also) it is time to let go.  I sincerely thought I had done just that some time ago, but they have been a source of frustration and even resentment in my recovery recently.  Frustration and resentment have nothing to do with serenity.

My prayer for myself today is that by God's grace, I will accept the fact that there are many people, places, things, circumstances..., I cannot change.  But God can.  May He begin with me.