Control?

Just yesterday, I was reminded that no matter how carefully and thoughtfully I plan my day, God sometimes has a few surprises for me which I believe are designed specifically to teach me something about myself or to grow me spiritually in some way.  By all accounts the day was typical, until I arrived home for lunch to discover that the water heater in the garage was leaking.  There was water in the garage closet where the water heater is located, on the floor of the garage, and I subsequently found water in the house in the closet of the master bathroom and into the bathroom.  Needless to say, this situation produced a certain amount of anxiety on the one hand, but on the other hand, it gave me an opportunity to trust God, to put into practice letting God be in control of my life.  So I proceeded to thank God for the situation and ask His guidance on how to respond.  I called a professional plumbing company and was told that they would page a technician who would then call me.  After about half an hour or so, I had not gotten a call.  After cleaning up the bathroom and garage as much as possible and turning off the water, I had to go meet a friend and get back to work.

After finishing at work, I thought for certain that the company I had called would have called back, but they had not.  When I called them again, I was told the same thing and after about another hour, I still had not received a phone call.  Since it was Friday, I essentially gave up on getting this problem resolved before the weekend.  When I had reached the point of giving up and throwing my hands in the air, I get a phone call.  Of course it is the call I was awaiting.  I explained the problem and was told that he could come out on Saturday morning and take care of replacing the heater for me.

After I got a little satisfaction from that exchange, I stepped on the floor in a certain part of the kitchen and noticed that the floor "gave way" and made a cracking sound.  How does a tile floor "give way"?  This happens if the adhesive underneath the tile is no longer effective and a "bubble" develops between the tile and the subfloor!  At this point my stress level is pretty high, but I am still trying to trust God with all my might!  I had recently read in a devotional I use for meditation that "...a life lived close to ME (Christ) will never be dull or predictable.  Expect each day to contain surprises!"  I read it at the time with sincerity, but had no idea it was going to be programmed into my life in such a real way.

In twelve-step recovery programs, the idea of control of one's life is talked about a lot.  How easy it is to forget that God is ultimately sovereign in my life and He is in control.  I do not know what each day will bring, but I do know that the safest place to be is by His side.  The first three lines of the Serenity Prayer (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...) convey several ideas one of which is that some things in life are simply not in my control.  No matter how hard I may try I can never predict something like a water heater going "on the fritz" or my tile floor coming undone.  These things simply happen and are a part of life.  Taken to another level, I cannot control other people either.  People are going to do what they make up their minds to do.  I spent a lot of years thinking I could control others and make them do or behave in the way I wanted them to.  Some people would allow themselves to be manipulated in one way or another and I would take advantage of that as a way to control them, but ultimately I could really never “make” them do anything.  It produced more frustration in me than it did satisfaction.

So, how does all of this relate to the overall message of this blog?  It is simply this: on those days when nothing is routine, nothing is going as it normally does, everything is unpredictable, when my life seems out of control, those are the times when I "acted out".  It was a way to escape the madness of everything that was going on, to put it out of my mind and focus on something pleasurable.  It was an attempt to be in control of something.  Not being in control of my circumstances is an extremely uncomfortable place to be.  When life is routine, I get lulled into a sense of security that is based on me thinking that I am in control, but when through life circumstances it becomes apparent that I am NOT in control, I am lost.  I am learning to rely on Christ for my security in all situations, good or bad, so when the walls start tumbling down in life, I lean even harder on the God who never changes, the God of Peace who reminds me in Philippians 4:6-7 to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NASB)