I am writing this post not on the topic of having random thoughts but just as some random thoughts I am currently having—if that makes any sense. My nature is to try to be organized and orderly in everything I do, so it is a little out of character for me to write something so haphazard and random as what I am about to write (even this introduction shows how uncomfortable I am with just writing whatever comes to mind, I have to preface it with an explanation!)
This time of year is always a challenge for me in my Christian walk. It is the end of the school year (at least for us college types) and instead of winding down, activity is picking up. End of the year meetings and paperwork and student projects just to name a few, are going full force and I am expected to be everything to everybody. Grading papers and projects, and the daily routine of checking scads of emails from students and colleagues all seem to escalate in April more so than at any other time of the year. Maybe it is the anticipation of the summer when things really wind down and I get a chance to focus much more on “Home”. But even at home, the activity is building. With springtime comes yard work—mowing the lawn, edging, trimming, pulling weeds, and of course cleaning out the garage which never gets fully done.
Then, there is my tax return! Yes, I waited until the last minute to do this (insert lame and ridiculous excuses here). No excuses! I am a procrastinator. I will say, that if I don’t have all the documentation I need it is impossible to complete my taxes, but I certainly could have at least input the information I did have. So honestly, no excuses!
The demands of job, home, and ministry all take their toll on my serenity and I find myself running to God in the middle of the day out of sheer desperation. There I find comfort and peace, but in the back of my mind all of the looming tasks are still there waiting to consume me like a wide open gaping maw! There just aren’t enough hours in the day to accomplish everything.
Today I heard the still, small voice of God say to me “You can’t do it all, be still and know that I am God”. He told me to simply trust Him and live one day and one moment at a time. I wish the term “multi-tasking” had never been coined so I would not feel like that is something I have to do. God created me to do one thing at a time. Anyone who tells you they can truly multi-task (doing two or more things simultaneously) is deluded. The mind can only truly focus on one thing at a time. Now I agree that the mind can very quickly move from one task to another and back again, but never truly at the same time. With that realization, I will focus on one project at a time and one thing at a time, and endeavor to do those things in the priority order established by the will of God for my life and do them wholeheartedly and well. I will not try to do 163 (random number) things at once! Why? Because I can’t! How simple is that! I will also not try to control my circumstances. Why? Because I can’t!! I will not try to understand or control other people. Why? Because I can’t!!! How long will it take me to learn these simple life lessons!
So I will be content in the Lord to do what He has for me to do today and not worry about what I may or may not do tomorrow. Nor will I be disappointed in myself for what I did not do yesterday. All God has promised me is the present. If I am still alive and kickin’ right now, then that is what I should concern myself with. How often I miss God’s blessing in the present because I was somewhere else.
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